Y.E.S. (Yours Eternally Still)

My second speech turned out fine.  There were just 6 of us present in the meeting, 5 speakers and the toastmaster of the evening (our club president) and no evaluators.  Second speech has the theme “organize your speech”.  It should be done in 5-7 minutes but I clocked in at 9 mins 44 secs.  Probably because of my topic:  3 things to fulfill before making before a proposal side-by-side my love story.  I may have gotten carried away when I was making the speech forgetting to mind how long it will take to deliver it.

Plus points: excellent opening, clear body, mastery of English language, descriptive words, good voice, good pacing, passionate delivery.

Minus points: poor time management (exceeded alloted time), confusing hand gestures, especially the clenched fist, weak closing.

The following is my speech…

Y.E.S. (Yours Eternally Still)

“Hon, are you willing to spend the rest of your life with me?”  This is not some cheesy dialog from Casablanca, Gone with the Wind, Notting Hill, Jerry Maguire, or any of your favorite romantic movie, old or new. These are real words that I said when I proposed to my better half one cold December evening over dinner in a secret garden in Tagaytay a year ago.

Proposing is one thing guys like me do only once in our life, the commitment-phobics that we are; but when we do it, it has to be memorable.  Not the ambiance—red roses, jazz music, fine dining; not the glitz and glamour, not even the diamond ring or anything fancy (not in the literal sense because I’ve got her a real one).  Not anything fancy will make the moment “the” moment.

For those who propose, the focus is always on the proposal itself.  After the cheesy part comes the serious part.  When we pop the question, we want to get the answer that we want.  But after the “yes”, how many engaged partners actually make it to the altar?  This makes for thinking what are the essentials to consider before making a proposal. Because just as there are failed marriages, there are also failed proposals.

I’d like to believe that there are 3 things that we guys should already have done before diving into that one-time moment in our life.  No big deal.  Just 3 things.  First, find the right person.  Second, fall in love.  And third, stick it out.  “Yes” or “no” answer in the proposal, if we’re lacking in any of these, we’re doomed.  The eternal love story that we want to write will turn into a disaster movie.  And this is way bigger of a problem than our big ego can handle.

So, first things first.  Before we make the proposal, we should already have found the right person, no matter how rocket-science as it may seem.  For me, the right person was a petite, fair-skinned, sweet, unassuming girl from Bulacan by the name of Jody.  She with the long shiny black hair and raised pinky.  All the stars but me knew about this.  13 years ago in college, she was my constant groupmate, thanks to alphabetical arrangement–I am an L, she an M.  We were always doing reports for class and in the laboratory dissecting frogs and mixing chemicals.  Strange because there was no “lab” at first sight, nor instant chemistry that developed between us then. But yes, she’s got traits that fitted into the barkada’s definition of a perfect girlfriend.  Sophisticated beauty, innocent charm, warm disposition, feminine ways.  I really thought that she was the right person then–for my bestfriend who had a crush on her, that is.  The good dependable friend that I am, I served as their bridge.  I would hand her sweet somethings from my bestfriend and would even translate their conversation, mostly muted and unintelligible because they were both quiet and my friend couldn’t find the right words.  Little did I know that the more forcibly I drew them together, the more she became closer to me, rather me to her, until one day before summer vacation began, I felt that a part of me was on the brink of being lost.  That’s when I realized she’d already taken a big part of me.  I wanted to see her, be with her everyday, schoolday or not.  She was to me the epitome of a so-near-yet-so-far kind of girl.  I found her.  I saw her then, knew her well.  I was not looking for her, I found her for my bestfriend, but I found her.  She was the right person for me.

After finding the right person, requirement number 2, we should already have fallen in love.  I liked her but on second thought, I was already beginning to love her.  This was when the feeling kicked in.  I weighed this feeling.   It weighed so heavy that my heart cried that love it was then and nothing else.  The world became a much better place to live in.  And suddenly I couldn’t imagine my life without her.  But, to make it proper, I had to let the right person know about it.  I had to tell her about it.  But man, it wasn’t easy because she was identified with my bestfriend.  Our barkada was divided into 2 factions: one rooting for my bestfriend, another rooting for me to be the right person for her.  Remembering how I used to tease them made me feel weird and thinking that they would be “them” broke my heart.   Good thing love really has strange hypnotic powers.  I mustered the courage to open it up with my bestfriend, careful not to offend him, to maintain our friendship. He understood my intentions and approved of me wooing her.  After all, he hadn’t made any move ever since.  Against all odds, fighting for my feelings, I wooed her.   Love as a romance bloomed like red roses that I constantly gave her, like the love verses that I wrote for her that started the exciting symphony of our lives.  And after 6 months of servanthood, rather courtship, everything in the universe conspired to let us become “us”.  She gave me the first “yes”.  I jumped and cried and cried and jumped.  I became her first; and I told her she was my first too-because she was the first and only girl I’ve courted in my life and thank God I did not fail.  Otherwise, this hopeless romantic would have turned suicidal.

Lastly, before making the proposal, we should already have sticked it out with the girl through thick and thin.  Since we became “us” 10 years ago, our relationship never had an off period.  Our relationship is like an ECG tracing with different waves, rises and depressions, progressing at different paces, but always pulsing with activity.  From the time we went to medical school, became doctors and pursued our careers, we had several milestones.  There were just too many reasons to celebrate and just as many reasons to grieve.  Seasons of laughter gave way to seasons of hurting, sometimes in predictable cycles, sometimes not. Our similarities drew us together but it’s our differences, especially the ugly ones, that made us stick.  Love is really hard work.  Diversity, variety, and spontaneity provided the twist. Trying out new things, discovering new skills, exploring new places, developing new relationships (not with another woman, hehe).  And of course, romance.  Some say romance cools down in a long relationship; but ours just sizzled with each passing day.  Up to now, we still celebrate monthsaries, text each other like new sweethearts:  “Wer u na?” “Hav u eatn na?” “Mis u, Mwah!” and oh! We still do the HHWW with PSSP! (Holding Hands While Walking, Pa-Sway Sway Pa).

Finding the right person.  Falling in love.  Sticking it out.  I am so damn certain that I fulfilled these 3 things, which means I was really ready to propose!

It was a singular defining moment that transported us to a place where only the two of us mattered and when the only thing standing between me and her is our love for each other. Black and white. Heartbeats in sync. Everything else canceled out.  Yes, no, no maybe.  I was left then with only two possible answers.  What were the odds?  My boggled mind wouldn’t do the math.  It’s the emotions that calculated.  The yes or no suddenly became a life or death situation for me.  My heart beat fast.  My breath almost escaped me when I waited for the answer, and I would have died instantly in that rarefied moment. Lucky me, I continued to live. She said “yes”.

 

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